if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
