He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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