It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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