I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
