he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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