What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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