Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
