everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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