Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
