My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
