oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
