I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
