We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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