everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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