Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
