At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy sore nipples Batman
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
