We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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