Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
