Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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