what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
