He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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