I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
