Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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