well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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