I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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