She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize