we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
