I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
