Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
