no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize