Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
