Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
