I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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