you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
