You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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