Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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