Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
