I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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