Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
