I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
