he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
