we have pet lesbian snakes
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Someone came in the potted fern
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
