Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
