What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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