Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
