we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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