lets start a swedish sibling band together
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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