hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
