How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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