lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
