I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
