Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
