New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i would punch a child for taco bell
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
