i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
