He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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