I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My ass is underappreciated
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize