I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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