Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want nice things and good sex
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
