Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
