How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
