Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
