She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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